Undiluted

My mother loved me and loved me hard
Grew me in the midst of abuse domestic that is
The fierceness of her protection obvious
She took the licks, but he dared not touch this child...
A tigress in her defense of me.  Do not touch her child!!!!
Told me I was pretty...never felt that way, but
I loved her with complete abandon and no reservations.... I loved her with a boundless passion that never waned.....my sweet mama!
She died....... no where to put this love I  cocooned from a child to an adult, it grew and grew till it exploded into a fearless protection of her from her abuser, in the domesticity of abuse, in a marriage where she stayed...

Stayed for me her last child
Stayed for my sister and bother before me
Because of her station
In the uncertainty that seems certain
While observing hope but living far from it
Cause she had no way out of it
Stayed until I grew up and drew a bottle, broke it and almost stabbed out his heart...

Then she left...
Left out of fear
Because that night he was the vilest she'd ever seen
Because he attacked her child
kicked her child in her most precious place .....and drew blood
Left because she was angry
So we could escape his rage
Left because she had had enough
So our lives could be spared
Left for the uncertain but hopeful future
For 32 years this monster reigned and yet;

The ability to be normal existed
He seemed to portray some good
Good, we were denied
Went on to marry again and;
Never touched the new wife or the new son abusively
At least so I've heard
But lived a normal, decent, respectable life from all accounts and;

One wonders what did we do?
To evoke such anger
To cause the unleashing of such rage
To provoke the worst in humankind the belts, the broom, the machete, his fists, a heated iron...the evil thoughts, the wickedness the butchery.....

I wonder, we wonder, life wonders the earth is puzzled...what is it that stirs the beast of abuse to rise up and inflict on one?
And yet not on another.