A new 'take' on Adam & Eve and how they partake of the forbidden fruit.

“Here you try it.”

“No, I'm not trying it. You try it. This is your idea not mine.”

“Just try it okay.”

“No, it's not okay. I'm not trying it. You picked it. You try it.”

“Oh, come on now Dear. Do it for little ole me.” Eve cocked her head and doefully fluttered her long            eyelashes at him. Then added a long drawn out whiny, “Pleeeeeeease.”

“I ain’t falling for that. I’m on to your evil wily worldly womanly ways Woman.”

“Hey, I got an idea.”

“Yah, what's that?”

“Let’s get Serpy to try it.”

“Who?”

“You know Serpy, that green four-legged serpent monster that’s always wandering around here all over the place. He eats anything.”

“Ya that is a good idea. Let him try it and if nothing happens to him, then we can take a bite too. Good idea.”

“Oh, here he comes now.”

Eve coyly waved for Serpy to come hither.

Serpy came hither.

“What?”

He smiled with a look in his eyes that told her he kind of had a thing for her and Eve, being ever so a woman instinctively picked up on it and ran with it.

“Serpy Sweetie Darling Dear, would you please be so kind as to taste this round red shiny thing that I plucked from this tree here and tell us what it tastes like.”

“Hey, you’re the one who plucked it, not me. You taste it.”

“Please Serpy. Please. Just do it for little ole me. I’d be ever so grateful. Okay?”  

It was the fluttering eyelashes that did him in. He bit.

“Okay I’ll try it. Give it to me.”

She gave it to him. He took a bite, chewed, and swallowed.

“Well, what’s it taste like?”

“Well, it certainly doesn’t taste like chicken. That’s for damn sure.”

“You eat chickens?”

“Sometimes.”

“Just answer my wife’s question, Serpy. What’s it taste like?”

“Well, it’s kind of sweet and sour, tart and sugary all at the same time. You know, kind of like having the best of both worlds all wrapped into one.

And with that said Adam’s right hand went to his chin as the windmills of his mind began to churn.

“The best of both worlds you say. All wrapped into one. Say that’s quite the deal now isn’t it.”

“Yes, Sir it sure is and it tastes great too.”

 Adam now wanted to taste it but he was still leary. So, he figured that if nothing happened to Serpy, and it appeared that nothing had happened to him so far, and if Eve took a bite too, and nothing happened to her too, well then it would be okay to eat and he’d take a bite too. The only problem now was how to get her to bite first.  A seed of an idea began to germinate in the furrows of his mind.   

“Here’s your apple back Ma’am,” said Serpy.

“Apple? I didn’t know it was called an apple.”

“Well take it from me, it's called an apple.”

Then Serpy suddenly realized how he knew that it was called an apple. He remembered what the Big Guy had said, “He that eats of the fruit of The Tree of Life shall have the Knowledge of Life.”  That’s how he knew it was called an apple. He was as smart as the Big Guy now. But being ever so devilish he needed to go home now and think about how he could use this newfound knowledge to his advantage.

“Look guys, I gotta run now. Gotta go home now and clean out my cave. See you two later okay?”

 “Okay,” they both answered.

 Serpy loped off.

But he never made it all the way home on all fours. As he approached his cave his legs shrunk into his body and soon, he was lying face down on his belly crawling on the ground. He looked up and saw the cave entrance shrink to a hole in the ground. Instinctively he knew that this was to be his new home. He slithered on in.

Serpy reflected on his fate. Oh God what was I thinking letting that woman trick me into taking a bite like that. The Big Guy said that there’d be punishment if you ate it. He was right. I guess this is mine. I should have known better than to have listened to that wily worldly wascally woman.” Occasionally Serpy sometimes channeled Elmer Fudd.

As soon as he was out of sight Eve said to Adam, “See he’s okay. Nothing has happened to him. Go ahead. Take a bite.”

She stuck her arm out offering him the apple. Even if Serpy was okay, she’d be damned if she took the first bite in this battle of marital martial wits.

Adam took it. The apple that is not her arm. His seed had grown to fruition. He had a plan. He took a bite, but he didn’t swallow, immediately he handed it back to her, and mush mouthed, “Hold on a sec, I gotta take a pee now. I’ll be right back.” 

And before she could say another word he went around behind the Tree Of Life, spit out the bite, ground it into the ground with his heel, peed on The Tree of Life, and then went back to his wife.

“You okay?”

“Yes, I’m fine. Look at me, I'm okay. See. Your turn now. Go ahead and take a bite. Trust me. It tastes great.” 

Eve felt it was safe now. She had won. She had gotten him to take the first bite, and he was still okay so she took a bite, chewed, and swallowed. “You’re right, it does taste great and it’s less filling too.” She then took a second bite and that’s when God intervened via Deus Ex Machina zooming down from Heaven in his royal golden winged chariot.

“Woman,” he bellowed in his God awfulest thundering roaring voice, “because you have disobeyed My Directive and eaten the forbidden fruit from The Tree of Life, your days here in Paradise Garden on earth are over. You are hereby sentenced to a life of toil, toil, trouble, and boil and shall spend the rest of the days of your life waiting on your husband, serving his every wish, command, and desire.”

Then turning to Adam God said unto him in a much softer voice, “Adam since you have obeyed me and not eaten of the fruit of the Tree of Life you, you shall lead the life of Riley from here on out.

“Huh. Life of Riley?” mumbled Adam. “What’s that?”   

But Eve knew what the life of Riley meant because she had eaten the forbidden fruit and thus now, she had knowledge of all things.

“Hey! wait a minute here,” she squawked. “You didn’t eat it did you Adam.”

The sheepish look on Adam’s face gave him away.

“You tricked me Adam. As God as my witness, I will get you for this.”

“Hush Woman,” thundered God. “Know your place in this world and serve this man until your dying day as I have ordered.”

Then God disappeared in a puff of white non-toxic smoke.

“You heard da man Woman. Fix me my dinner. I'm gonna take a nap now. Have it ready when I wake up.”

“How about you put some clothes on first?”

“Huh?”

“Never mind. Just go and take your nap.”

Adam took a nap at the foot of the now withered tree of life but on the opposite side from where he had peed.

His wife had to wake him for dinner.

“Your dinner’s ready Dear.”

 She served him a four-course gourmet meal which he wolfed and/or woofed down in no time at all.

“And now for dessert,” she announced.

 “What’s dessert?
“Never you mind, dear. Just try it. You’ll like it. Trust me.”

  He tried it. He liked it.

  “What's this called?”

 “Pie. Apple pie.”

So, Eve and Adam spent the rest of the days of their lives, no longer as the young and the restless, but as the old and the tired, in the toil, toil, trouble, and boil of the drudgery of the real-life world. He hunted and gathered. She cooked and cleaned. Oh, yah she also did the wash, since that is a woman thing, and since they wore clothes now. And thus, this became their way of life, kind of like alcoholism, drug addiction, and farming are ways of life, but not quite so bad.